Of all the questions asked to a White House, I'm not sure many have fielded the question, "Who owned the cocaine found in the White House?" But that's where we are these days with the Biden White House. If you've been alive and following politics in this country for the last few years, the answer to that question seems obvious. The President's son, Hunter Biden, has a long history with that substance and many others.
Even the satirical news site The Onion gets this. They joked that the white substance found in the White House was actually President Biden. "'Through extensive forensic testing we've determined the composition of the white powder to be President Biden himself,' said Secret Service spokesperson Andrew Rabney, confirming that investigators had retrieved security-camera footage of Biden dissolving into a pile of dust after tripping and falling."
The Onion wrapped that piece with the kicker, "At press time, Hunter Biden was seen snorting the powdery remains of his father." And that reveals the obvious thought everyone had the moment news broke of cocaine being found at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
There's definitely a humorous aspect to this story. But that faded when the White House started backpedaling and profusely lying. The White House leaked to Politico, "But one official familiar with the investigation cautioned that the source of the drug was unlikely to be determined given that it was discovered in a highly trafficked area of the West Wing."
That official added," 'Even if there were surveillance cameras, unless you were waving it around, it may not have been caught' by the cameras, added the official, who spoke on condition of anonymity given that it's an ongoing investigation. 'It's a bit of a thoroughfare. People walk by there all the time.'"
Here's what the White House wants you to believe here. You can't walk through a TSA security checkpoint with a water bottle without being found out. But, you can waltz right into the White House with an unidentified bag containing a white powdery substance, and no one will know who did it. Too many people are going in and out of the White House in a "highly trafficked" area for security to know much.
I know what would happen at a TSA checkpoint if you did that - and there'd be no getting away with it. Federal authorities are prosecuting a woman in Puerto Rico after she was found possessing twelve kilograms of cocaine. The TSA found her, her "lost" baggage, and the cocaine after a rapid investigation.
Yet, we're being led to believe that the Secret Service, Marines, and other security forces at the White House don't know who brought it in. Even if you give up the obvious Hunter Biden point here, it is not believable that this White House doesn't know who brought the cocaine.
At least give us a convincing lie. In the first Iron Man movie, Tony Stark jokes that the usual line from the military over bad incidents is a "training exercise gone wrong." That would be a more believable lie here than "we may never know whose cocaine that is."
If that line is true, the Secret Service is worse at their job than the TSA agents at your local airport, who may start out making less than $30,000 a year. It's just not believable in any way.
The White House, seemingly feeling the disbelief from everyone, decided to go further. They now describe it as a highly-trafficked area that includes the Vice President's vehicle. Some astute Twitter comments wondered why the White House was bringing a black woman into a conversation around cocaine - especially when everyone knows who the person is with a history of drug abuse.
The point here isn't that the White House is lying about who brought cocaine into the White House. No one is expecting that Joe Biden is doing lines off the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office (the Corvette in his garage is another story). The point is that the White House chose to throw out an utterly unconvincing lie on a relatively non-story.
However this story ends up shaking out, it likely won't impact the White House and its political strategies that much. But it should affect how anyone views the truthfulness of this White House. They'll lie about anything and everything; the lies aren't that good.
You can either believe that highly experienced, well-paid security officials at the White House are getting outdone in security by minimum-wage TSA employees or that the White House is lying. I know which explanation I find more compelling. I bet Hunter Biden would agree with me.