DANIEL VAUGHAN: Ignore liberal Karens, America - Shoot those Fireworks!

 July 3, 2023

I noticed something new this year among my liberal friends on social media: a strong stance against individuals firing off fireworks on Independence Day. The soiled masses can't be trusted with anything that shows the rocket's red glare, whether it's a snap-n-pop, a Roman candle, or a bomb bursting in air. And so we get the lectures from those better than the rest of us that we're wrong, simple-minded, and borderline evil for lighting the fuse on fireworks.

I'd call it another case of the left-wing internet Karens come to ruin the fun for us all. But I've seen many males take part in the lectures too. We need a proper name for the internet's male Karens, liberal-mansplaining why everyone is wrong to shoot off a firework. Maybe we continue referring to them all as the basement-dwelling dorks yelling "well achtchually" into comments sections worldwide.

Every year brings us some new thing that the left declares is newly wrong or some new thing to tax. In the past few weeks, the left has launched an environmental campaign to hunt down those economic terrorists running wood-fired pizza shops. Even more fun from our lefty friends is that they're getting approval to start charging tolls for those of you stuck in the muck and mire of New York traffic jams. While you're sitting there, unable to move, New York liberals want you to pay a congestion tax.

Environmentalists make perfect villains.

And only a few weeks ago, House Republicans passed legislation preventing the federal government from banning gas stoves. That's another one of the new things the left suddenly hates - despite no one thinking anything about them six months ago.

It'd all be silly if it wasn't so very real. It keeps late-night comedians like Greg Gutfield in business, that's for sure. At a minimum, the left seems to be determined to prove that film critic Sonny Bunch was prophetic in his piece: "Environmentalists make good movie villains because they want to make your real life worse."

It all hearkens to Michael Bloomberg's infamous bans on 7/11 Big Gulps. The left is here to ban things they think you don't need. The ban on Big Gulps, gas stoves, and wood-fired pizzas is similar to the prohibitions on AR-15s. It's all based on an argument of what they claim a person "needs."

No one cares, not even liberals.

Fireworks fit into this same mindset. You don't "need" to shoot off fireworks because you can let the professionals do it and enjoy their show. Fireworks shows are well attended throughout the country, with public and private shows happening everywhere. Defining need is a dumb way to legislate, though.

My favorite part of this new-found self-righteous take on fireworks is that no one takes it seriously. The city of Los Angeles, California, has a ban in place on fireworks. Every year we get stories of illegal fireworks there. Yet, every year we get fantastic helicopter and drone video shots of seemingly everyone in California shooting off fireworks in every neighborhood. Last time I checked, the voter composition of California was pretty liberal.

Even liberals are shooting fireworks and having fun.

I increasingly feel like the Savage in Aldous Huxley's Brave New World. He entered a world drugged up beyond belief, with cultural dictators banning everything deemed unpleasant. Like that Savage, I feel compelled to say, "But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin."

Fireworks are a perfect encapsulation of that mindset. Are they dangerous? Yes! They are. But so are a lot of things, that doesn't stop us. Like many Americans, I buy fireworks from guys putting up large tents in Wal-Mart parking lots or abandoned lots. I know my Alabama friends run across the Tennessee border to drop their cash at a fireworks outlet just off the interstate that looks straight off the Vegas strip.

Jeff Foxworthy posted a sign on the side of the road for "Ill eagle fireworks." I won't tell you what to do with your hard-earned cash, but I feel like we both know the best place to buy fireworks.

Enjoy the Fourth, America!

If you can't trust those kinds of connections, who can you trust? We're buying sticks and shells crammed with gunpowder that go "boom" and flash pretty lights. If that's not the most American thing possible, I don't know what is. Of course, it's dangerous. But so is cooking my own food, going to the lake during the summer, or driving my own car.

I'll take that danger over the dumbed-down world of the internet Karens (male and female), whose self-righteous rants are clearly getting ignored by everyone. And if you want proof of that, look to the skies on the Fourth of July (or any of the days leading up to it in my neighborhood).

As for me, I'll take my lawn chairs up to the top of a hill and watch the city's fireworks and all the other fireworks shot off by everyone else. It's an incredible sight to behold, and I enjoy it every year. 

One last note: if you, like me, always enjoy laughing at the "Back up, Terry!" video every summer, you can do some good for that guy. He gets no money from the viral video. But a fundraiser is going around to help get him a new van that transports him around town. His current van broke down. His friends have set up a Go Fund Me page here, and you can read about the story that verifies that Go Fund Me page fund in Memphis local news.

Happy Independence Day, everyone! Enjoy those fireworks!

" A free people [claim] their rights, as derived from the laws of nature."
Thomas Jefferson
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