Hunter Biden shared intimate texts with his cousin Caroline discussing their "sick" family -- and Joe Biden's feelings about his troubled son as a role model -- as Hunter scrambled to find an apartment for his cousin to serve probation in California.

The colorful vignette, uncovered by the Washington Free Beacon, is just the latest wild tale to emerge from Hunter Biden's "laptop from hell."

"Our family is sick"

Caroline had pled guilty to credit card fraud in 2017 and was eager to serve probation in California, but she needed a job and a place to stay. Hunter was conscripted into helping by his uncle and business partner James Biden, who expressed concern that his daughter was "off the rails" in July 2018 texts.

Apparently, James thought it would be good for his unstable daughter to spend more time with her degenerate cousin in California, where he was living at the time after breaking off a twisted affair with his widowed sister-in-law, Hallie Biden.

Caroline -- and Hunter's dad Joe Biden -- apparently agreed that Hunter was some kind of role model. "Your dad thinks you’re a good influence which you are," she wrote Hunter at the time.

The cousins bonded over their messy lives as Caroline and her father pressed Hunter to devise new living arrangements. Caroline described the Biden family as "sick" and lamented a lack of connection with her relatives, something Hunter appeared to identify with.

"Down to the wire"

Hunter spent several days trying to secure an apartment for Caroline in his own name, but his rental application at an artsy Los Angeles complex was denied. Caroline, ironically, complained of having to "do everything on my f-----g own" throughout this turbulent period.

On the eve of Caroline's probation hearing, James texted Hunter in a panic, saying Caroline refused a do-nothing $85,000 a year job that her uncle, Joe Biden, arranged for her by tapping a major donor. "Getting down to the wire," James wrote.

Caroline complained the gig didn't pay enough to keep pace with California's cost of living, telling her father, "I have never made this little money in my life." She expressed to Hunter that she could make the same amount of money "working one art deal."

"Done with me"

Apparently, the "big guy" wasn't too thrilled with Caroline, who confessed to Hunter that her uncle Joe was "done" with her after she "bombed" the job interview. She was offered an internship instead as a favor to Biden.

"Your dad told me he was done with me yesterday," she wrote.

When the job fell through, Hunter chided Caroline to remain calm and joked that the two cousins were two "crazies" who should "blow up a house and rob banks together."

"You are crazy im crazy and two crazies make…double the cray I guess," he wrote.

Caroline was charged with a DUI in 2020 but avoided jail time after cutting a plea deal.